Barack's granny fires back!

Denounces 'former grandson' via text message

Barack Obama's 86-year-old grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, who has come to be known by many as "Granny Dunham," has been, according to the Obama campaign, "unavailable for comment" to media.

After discovering that this poor woman is "unavailable" only because her treacherous grandson is having her held prisoner in Hawaii, we at the News Lampoon smuggled a cell phone into the heavily-guarded compound (paid for with Obama campaign funds) where Granny is being held.

Though some might think that hiring a high-end prostitute to perform this task is unethical, we decided, after much heated discussion, to go ahead and do it anyway. Frankly, we were worried about Granny Dunham.

See Granny's heartbreaking message.

www.newslampoon.com