The News Lampoon's Person of the Year

We at the News Lampoon are pleased to announce our 2010 Person of the Year: Michael Vick. Come on, give the man another dog!

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Red-hot tips wanted!

In the wake of the tragic, unwarranted arrest of WikiLeaks boss Julian Assange, a hero whose only flaw is that he's allegedly raped a few women, the News Lampoon affirms its solidarity with Mr. Assange by launching Take-a-Leak. So remember: if you have a hot tip, Take-a-Leak!

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Have You Seen Me?

Millions of turkeys are slaughtered each year in remembrance of a time that most American Indians would just as soon forget, seeing as their ancestors went the way of our above-pictured friend; that is, murdered by the white man! So Happy Bloody Thanksgiving, America! (This goes for Columbus Day, too!)

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The King James Version

Losing LeBron: The King Who Never Really Was

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The News Lampoon Portia de Rossi Fan Club!

We don’t know what exactly to attribute this to—her beauty, her gayness, her talent? All of the above?—but we’re going with it!

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Byron Gordon's Long-awaited Fourth Installment to His Epic

We Love You, Mister President!

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Another Letter to Our Many Readers

It’s hard sometimes to write every single day about anything, let alone egotistical politicians, talking heads, and celebrities. Sure, it’s fun to make fun of Nancy Pelosi or Glen Beck or LeBron James, but to do so you have to pay attention to what they do and say before you can skewer them. It wears you down, makes you long for death.

See more of this navel-gazing and whining at NewsLampoon.com