Reason to Celebrate

Ray Lewis and Art Modell, shining pieces of silver
 

It’s been much too long between Super Bowls for bible-babbling Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis.  It’s tragic, criminal, much as Ray-Ray himself is tragic and criminal. . . .

But Art will never know because, alas, Art is dead.

See more reason to celebrate at the News Lampoon

'Fly-gate' raises eyebrows

Many are searching for explanations, but logical ones are hard to find. Your best bet might be capturing one of the flies and asking it for answers. Televangelist Pat Robertson believes the inhabitants of the infernal regions could provide them. “Have you ever heard of Beelzebub?” he asked recently on his 700 Club program. “Well, in ancient Hebrew, this name means ‘Lord of the flies.’ So, when we discover that we have a fly-blown president, and these insects are of a kind that one could categorize as 'familiars,' one has to wonder if we are indeed entering the end-times. At the very least, it’s a disturbing development." Read the the rest of the story. . . .