School Bus-Sized Satellite To Hit North America!

President Bush To Shoot the Moon!

By Mickey Sartre, News Lampoon cub reporter

February 15, 2008--The Government plans to deploy a navy warship to fire a missile at the military satellite known as "USA 193." The bus-sized defunct satellite floating over Scotland is soon to drop to Earth, and the Bush Administration is hoping to destroy it "before it lands on someone's head."

Navy personnel are preparing for the mission by blowing up school buses.

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